LUCK & LOGIC OF THE IRISH
To preface: this post was inspired totally by a dream. Listeners of The 60-Minute Drill may already know what I'm referring to.
So if you're done rolling your eyes and pondering whether or not to turn off your monitor, allow me to continue. I have developed a fix for the Boston Celtics.
STEP 1: Using the luck of the Irish, get a pick in this year's lottery.
You're doing it again - that whole rolling the eyes thing.
But seriously, the C's have had some trouble getting what they need in this department, even when they are afflicted with the league's worst record. Remember '97? When they were supposed to get Duncan to team with some Kentucky vets (Walker, Delk, and Coach Pitino), and take the sliding East by storm? It didn't happen, they drafted Chauncey and got impatient with him, and they haven't won 50 since.
They've tried to assemble a team of mid-sized scorers with their typically late-lottery or early non-lottery picks, and succeeded only in alienating their fan base; Pierce (10th overall) and Jefferson (15th) are notable talents, but what else is there?
STEP 2: Using the logic of the...Irish, draft Joakim Noah.
We know Boston won't be lucky enough to get one of the top 2 picks - this simply does not happen for them, not these days. So wherever they end up drafting, they should take the Wookiee from Florida and immediately establish him as the starting center alongside Al at the power forward spot.
Sure, JoJo's stock has slipped recently. Ok, not slipped; more like plummeted. What people don't realize is that Noah still has the unmatchable energy and unreal court vision and awareness that made him Tourney MOP in '06. So what if he wasn't looking for his offense so much late in the season? Man was on a crowded UF team, with plenty of options. He knows how to fit (though maybe not blend) in.
STEP 3: In another exercise of this newfound logic, get rid of P-Dub, and get Corey Maggette in exchange.
I don't care if they have to swing a 6-team deal to get this done, but jettisoning the overpaid volume shooter that is Pierce is a necessity. I don't care if he's been the team's top scorer for years; Boston has a young, young core that Paul simply will not be able to contribute to. Whether it's an issue of age, ball demands, or chemistry with the coach, he does not fit here, and must go.
And in must come an athletic, unselfish replacement. Someone who does not settle for perimeter jump shots every possession; someone who has an attacking mentality and a body to go with it. C-Mags, your day has come.
STEP 4: With touch of luck and a pinch of logic, lure John Stockton out of retirement to coach Rajon Rondo.
Rondo gained confidence towards the end of the season, but he must quickly learn the cageyness and headiness of the best PGs to make the Fleet Center tenants elite once more. And I defy you to name one man better for this educational process than the Dimemaster himself. If he wants, he can even suit up every once in a while.
STEP 5: Out of sheer luck, snatch up a young, up-and-coming GM to replace 'Fingers' Ainge, who has done nothing but evil to this franchise.
I have one in mind, actually. He's got a basketball brain, a winner's heart, and some of the most outlandish (yet possibly brilliant) ideas in the sports world. And he's already established a 5-step plan to resurrect the once-proud boys in green.
I'll just be waiting by the phone.
So if you're done rolling your eyes and pondering whether or not to turn off your monitor, allow me to continue. I have developed a fix for the Boston Celtics.
STEP 1: Using the luck of the Irish, get a pick in this year's lottery.
You're doing it again - that whole rolling the eyes thing.
But seriously, the C's have had some trouble getting what they need in this department, even when they are afflicted with the league's worst record. Remember '97? When they were supposed to get Duncan to team with some Kentucky vets (Walker, Delk, and Coach Pitino), and take the sliding East by storm? It didn't happen, they drafted Chauncey and got impatient with him, and they haven't won 50 since.
They've tried to assemble a team of mid-sized scorers with their typically late-lottery or early non-lottery picks, and succeeded only in alienating their fan base; Pierce (10th overall) and Jefferson (15th) are notable talents, but what else is there?
STEP 2: Using the logic of the...Irish, draft Joakim Noah.
We know Boston won't be lucky enough to get one of the top 2 picks - this simply does not happen for them, not these days. So wherever they end up drafting, they should take the Wookiee from Florida and immediately establish him as the starting center alongside Al at the power forward spot.
Sure, JoJo's stock has slipped recently. Ok, not slipped; more like plummeted. What people don't realize is that Noah still has the unmatchable energy and unreal court vision and awareness that made him Tourney MOP in '06. So what if he wasn't looking for his offense so much late in the season? Man was on a crowded UF team, with plenty of options. He knows how to fit (though maybe not blend) in.
STEP 3: In another exercise of this newfound logic, get rid of P-Dub, and get Corey Maggette in exchange.
I don't care if they have to swing a 6-team deal to get this done, but jettisoning the overpaid volume shooter that is Pierce is a necessity. I don't care if he's been the team's top scorer for years; Boston has a young, young core that Paul simply will not be able to contribute to. Whether it's an issue of age, ball demands, or chemistry with the coach, he does not fit here, and must go.
And in must come an athletic, unselfish replacement. Someone who does not settle for perimeter jump shots every possession; someone who has an attacking mentality and a body to go with it. C-Mags, your day has come.
STEP 4: With touch of luck and a pinch of logic, lure John Stockton out of retirement to coach Rajon Rondo.
Rondo gained confidence towards the end of the season, but he must quickly learn the cageyness and headiness of the best PGs to make the Fleet Center tenants elite once more. And I defy you to name one man better for this educational process than the Dimemaster himself. If he wants, he can even suit up every once in a while.
STEP 5: Out of sheer luck, snatch up a young, up-and-coming GM to replace 'Fingers' Ainge, who has done nothing but evil to this franchise.
I have one in mind, actually. He's got a basketball brain, a winner's heart, and some of the most outlandish (yet possibly brilliant) ideas in the sports world. And he's already established a 5-step plan to resurrect the once-proud boys in green.
I'll just be waiting by the phone.